Bleeding

I’m bleeding, I’m not ok,

You stole it, my heart this way,

I’m bleeding, just go away,

I’m broken but I’ll heal today

If you would stay away

If you would stay away!

 

 

I’m tired of the waiting,

And Sick of the pain.

All you did was start the hating,

And you’re driving me insane.

 

 

As I’m trying to find my way,

I’m wandering, scared and numb.

No guidance, where do I go?

Is there a reason, for my demise?

Cause There’s no comfort in knowing I’m alone

 

 

Why am I dying to find,

Myself here in this darkened place.

There is just, no escape,

Cause the memories will always stay.

Even if this pain will fade,

The scars will never go away.

 

 

This has gone on for so long,

That there is nothing left to gain.

Correct if I’m wrong,

But you’re the only one to blame.

 

 

Now I’m bleeding, I’m not ok,

You stole it, my heart this way,

I’m bleeding, just go away,

I’m broken but I’ll heal today,

If you would stay away,

If you would stay away!

My own

Is there a measurement?

Some kind of indication of happiness,

Is there a place where you can’t get hurt?

Safe and secure, to call your own?

 

Making mistakes is part of life,

Learn from them, use them,

Let them be our guidance.

Let it lead you trough the days.

Life isn’t fair, it will never be,

Let there be a place for me.

Pain and regret

Pain and regret,

The things you won’t forget.

All the things that went wrong,

The feeling you don’t belong.

You can feel it here,

The tension and fear.

The broken hearted,

Searching where this all started.

Can’t seem to find, the answers I’m trying to find.

Pitch black, alone, blind.

Could there be a way for me to say.

Just want these feelings to go away.

Don’t wanna hide,

No longer wanna fight.

I won’t be down, no longer.

This time I’ll be stronger.

You won’t hurt me with the things you say,

You won’t hurt me with the things you do.

But still my heart belongs to you.

Reminisce

There is just to much said and done,

Don’t know when this all begun.

I know you’re no longer here.

That the only thing you left me with was fear.

I still don’t know what I did wrong,

But some how I’ve got to be strong.

Can’t give in to the sorrow,

It only makes me feel hollow,

I can’t deny the scars on my soul,

Your leaving left a hole.

It’s not that easy to fill it up,

Since we’ve clearly split up.

I’ll try to forget you,

You’re not one out of a few,

There are  more fish in the sea,

I know one of them Will be the one for me,

But is hard to have a happy home

Cause its lonely knowing you’re all alone,

No longer blinded

The times were hard, some things were bad,

I cherished all the things we had.

Every time you dragged me down,

I forgave you without a frown.

Now I’m crying, alone in the darkness,

I’m hiding from the stuff in my life.

I’m screaming my lungs out,

As I’m trying to hide the pain.

 

There is just too much to say,

I just got to know my place.

And I learned the hard way

There are things time can’t erase.

I was stubborn not to see,

All the things you did to me.

But it’s all over now.

I’m no longer gonna bow.


I was blinded, trying to find it,

The love I never had,

But you were never there for me,

When I cried myself to sleep

I still tremble when I sleep at night,

Still my love for you has died.

I just can’t go on this way,

Its time for us to break!

 

It seems that I never knew, Loving as lovers do.

To me pain was a part of it, in that place in my heart that I always hide.

Not wanting the scars to see, you were always the world to me.

So naïf and still so young, O god was I wrong.

 

There is just too much to say,

I just got to know my place.

And I learned the hard way

There are things time can’t erase.

I was stubborn not to see,

All the things you did to me.

But it’s all over now.

I’m no longer gonna bow.

Feel

Can’t you feel it?

I loved from the start.

Can’t you see it?

Cause I’m falling apart.

 

I just want to be there for you,

I know what you’ve through.

Forget the things he said,

He was messing with your head.

 

His love for you isn’t real,

If there could be a way to show you how I feel.

Even though you call on me to comfort you,

You never see what you mean to me.

Why can’t I be the one for you?

Is my love not good enough for you?

To you I lost my soul,

Without you I’m not whole.

 

It’s eating me from the inside,

Not having you by my side.

You’ll be the best I’ll never have.

You’ll be the one I’ll always miss

Just cannot wait for ever for you,

Even if my love for you is strong.

Happy that you and him are through

You and him don't belong.

4th of november

This night shall be,

The only thing you’ll see

Now I’m lying here defenseless,

Withdrawn from all my senses.

 

I’m broken and alone,

So far away from home.

I’ve been wearing this shroud.

Since the day I found out.

My hearts still full of shame,

When I’m calling out your name.

I just can’t find my way around it.

All the things you did.

 

Can’t you see, the things you do to me,

Even though your touch makes me tremble,

The scars made me remember.

Can’t you see, the hurt you brought to me

You’re everything I wanted,

You’re the one I’ll always miss.

I’m bleeding today, these scars will always stay,

They made me remember, the 4th of November.

 

The day that won’t be remembered, 

The day that won’t be relived.

If I would never remember.

I would forget what you did.

Got to stay down under.

You can’t find what I hid.

 

I won’t be hurt no longer,

From this point on, I’ll be stronger.

I’ll never forgive you,

Can never be with you.

Can’t you see, the things you do to me,

Even though your touch makes me tremble,

The scars made me remember.

Can’t you see, the hurt you brought to me

You’re everything I wanted,

You’re the one I’ll always miss.

I’m bleeding today, these scars will always stay,

They made me remember, the 4th of November.

Old wounds

There is just to much said and done,

Don’t know when this all begun.

I know you’re no longer here.

That the only thing you left me with was fear.

I still don’t know what I did wrong,

But some how I’ve got to be strong.

Can’t give in to the sorrow,

It only makes me feel hollow,

I can’t deny the scars on my soul,

Your leaving left a hole.

It’s not that easy to fill it up,

Since we’ve clearly split up.

I’ll try to forget you,

You’re not one out of a few,

There are  more fish in the sea,

I know one of them Will be the one for me,

But is hard to have a happy home

Cause its lonely knowing you’re all alone,

Misunderstood

Sometimes, there are these moments,

The final moment of clarity.

In the moment that you realize,

That all you’ve ever known,

And always believed in isn’t real

 

That the people you called your closest friends,

Of whom you thought to know you,

Have always been so far away.

No one really ever understand you,

For a part you stayed a stranger.

 

As you is a magnet, only connecting to one,

And as time passes, you’re turning,

Slowly being pushed away.

To slow to notice till it’s too late.

 

You’re on your own again,

As you’ll ever be.

Hurt and misunderstood,

Keeping up appearances

Forbidden love

Long brown hair,

Crystal blue eyes,

From the girl which I’ve never realized.

With the heart of an angel,

And as good as a saint.

She’s beautiful in every way,

It feels like my heart is gonna faint

I always knew you but never did,

now I do, there’s only you.

The thing I always wanted,

Was the thing I never knew,

The thing I’ve always wanted was you.

We’re friends know, making sense now.

It feels like were close,

I guess that’s the path we chose.

We’ll never be together.

We don’t belong,

You’re with my friend.

Waiting to be with you is wrong.

And maybe one day you’ll see,

What we could be.

Till then my feelings are in hiding

Cause I’m tired of all the fighting.

Don’t wanna fall for the wrong girl.

There’s no chance that we,

Are ever gonna be.

Dwell of the past

Gister heb ik een vriendin onze historie vertelt, ons verhaal. Wat we deden, wat we meegemaakt hebben. Alle goede en alle slechte dingen. Wat er ook gebeurden we waren er voor elkaar. We waren er voor elkaar op de momenten dat wij het het meeste nodig hadden. Dat zijn de herineringen die ik aan jou heb, dat is mijn verleden. Dat zijn de herineringen die ik bijna verloren was, weg gestopt, bang om ze kwijt te raken. Want dat waren goede tijden, dat was ons leven. Dat was het meisje aan wie ik mijn hart verloor. Wie mijn hart verdiende. Maar dat meisje heb ik in geen tijden meer gezien. Ik mis haar, waar ben je? Ik was zoveel voor je en nu? Ik weet niet eens wat ik voor je ben nu, behalve een ergenis. Maar een ergenis waarvan? Dat is de vraag die ik mij stel elke dag. Wat doe ik verkeerd, wat is er fout aan mij? Een vraag waar volgens mij zelfs jij het antwoord niet op weet. Het is gewoon daar, tussen ons in. Ik heb zoveel avonden en nachten gehuilt om jou. Niet snappend wat je wou of waarom je de dingen deed die je doet. Ik ben de weg kwijt en kan hem niet meer vinden. Ik wil weten wat er van ons gaat komen. Wat er van ons was, dat zal altijd blijven bestaan en dat geeft mij hoop voor de toekomst. I wanna run, but only far enough to make you miss me. Dat is hoe ik mij voel met tranen in mijn ogen. En een zweer in mijn maag.

Scars

Let these scars be a warning, to myself, to my heart.
Why would I still care, the girl I once knew is gone.
Maybe deep down, somewhere in a dark place, she still exist.

That was the girl who deserved my heart, not you.
You're not worthy enough. the way you treat me.
Is breaknig me down, for head to toe.
I just can take this no more.

My heart is still trying but at the same time it's dying.
I hate myself for loving you.

I turned my head away, but my heart remains.

Unknown

Matters of the heart,
Matters of the mind,
Where are the answers on the questions I'm dying to find.

Sit and wonder

Now I'm sitting here alone,
Just wondering what the future will bring.

Now I'm hiere on my own, left in the blue,
Just wondering if these things will ever be the same again.

I've evaded this for so long,
Stubborn and blind, not wanting to see the truth.

I've evaded this for so long,
Because deep down inside I knew.
I knew this day would come.

And now when it's there, it's way more painfull,
Then I could ever  imagine, It's over.

Friendship

It are moments like these when you recognize your true friends.

Who will support you no matter what.

So will you stick with me or abandon me, the choice is yours.

Staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain

How do I know you won't steal my loveones,
Replace me and let them forget me.

Is it your intention to break me and see me suffer?
Don't have no heart at all?

Imagining life without you is so weird,
Even though we had our fights, we always made it up in the end.

There is this voice in my head who's sayin' this time is different.
Because you're different, you've changed.

I don't recognize you anymore, where is that girl that I fell in love with. The girl who was my best friend, my sister.

The only thing there is left is staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain.

Sweet Monkey

There he goes, on her tippy toes,
With such grace along with the smile on her face.
Her hair dances as leaves sturred in the wind hanging in the trees.

So let us begin, with the start of this thing.
It's friendship and love, you're an Angel from above.

You're there when i'm down to bring me to the light again.
Your love is  unconditional, you're a true friend.

I love you my little monkey ;)

Gone and move on

You can't reverse the past, undo the things that are done.
Let the past be a reminder for the present.

Scars will stay forever, a sign of the past.
Let scars be a reminder of what happend.

Even though life goes on, the memory stays eternal.
A safeguard of the heart, protector of your soul.

You can hurt me but never take me down,
I will stand strong on move on!!

 

 

The dark side of the mind, tales of a broken man

Once we were the same, two parts of one,
We could sit next to each other for hours, not saying a word.
Or call you up in the middle of the night and talk for hours.

But somewhere along the way, we changed.
Something went wrong. Only a little bit, to small to notice.
Time passed by and is it did our difference became bigger.

Now we're different, but my feelings stayed the same,
You still mean the world to me. But everytime,
I try to reach out, You push me down.

Finally you gave me clearity. A glimpse of the truth.
You told me, you don't care anymore.
You told me, you you're not longer feeling like you did back then,
When all was good. That was back then, now all is lost.
Only the rubble remains, Ruines of a long lost civilazation.

But what do I know, if you're leaving
All you did was stop the bleeding.
But these scars will stay forever,
These scars will stay forever
And these words have no meaning
If we cannot find the feeling
That we held on to together
Try your hardest to remember

Because today, you walked out of my life
Because today, your words felt like a knife.

 

Rude Awakening

Why did I care?

Why did I felt the pain and sorrow?

I thought I locked those feelings away.

So nobody could touch it, and forgot the existence of it.

Forgot even that I had those feelings, which only mad me sad in the first place.

You made me aware of them all over again, my rude awakening.

But locking things away only makes things worse,

That's the lesson I've learned.

You can't lock things away or cut it out of your heart.

You have to face them one day or another.

That's what i've learned today.